Hoonage

Release the Skinny

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Hello internets, Anorexicpoodle has convinced me to get up off my butt and start contributing to this site. As if conjuring Duff Man in the middle of August in the arm pit of Bakersfield wasn’t enough, now I have to share my thoughts with the world. In the same vein as other self indulgent online articles here are a couple of things I think I think about Ford.

1) First and foremost they make cars that I want to own. Now these aren’t cars that I wouldn’t mind owning but cars that I would be proud to own. Carpocalypse sure did kick start something in the big three and it shows with what Ford is pumping out these days. They started taking queues from their European division and they remembered what a turbo charger can do.

2) I love Australians, yes the women are hot but more importantly it is some of Ford Australia’s products that make get me froggy. Ford America brought over the Fiesta from Europe and I see these things all over the place. Is there some worldly reason they won’t bring Falcon to the states? Drop a slightly detuned 5.0 Coyote motor in there and it would be a riot. Worst case scenario I get stuck with a 4 liter turbocharged inline 6 booo hoo. I am sure I can figure out what to do with a 4 door sedan that makes 360hp with 390lbs of torque. Oh I know, go embarrass the hell out of some BMW owners.

3) SHOnuffff, yeah that is right the rein-visioned Taurus SHO. Never in my right mind would I have thought I would be walking onto the lot of a Ford dealership and asking to look at Taurus. It happened about a month ago and you know what it felt good. With a solid interior, robust power train and a trunk that has more capacity than a truck bed it is a well rounded package. To top it all off the power is derived from a boosted motor and sent to all 4 wheels. Can you say American skyline?? I think it could be the best American sedan under $40k if only it had a RWD bias.

That is enough out of me for now but I will be back as long as I don’t choke on a chicken bone or something.

And the madness has begun to set in…..

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OK so I am now 3 events into the S2K challenge and about 6 track days into the new year and the insanity is increasing. Suspension has been modified (or as much as I can in my class), Honda alignment recommendations have been tossed out the window in favor of what has colloquially come to be known as “Man Camber” (as in anything less is for women and children). I have upgraded my brakes, then melted them, set them on fire and upgraded them again. I have abused tires in a way that should be a violation of the Geneva convention, and most importantly, I have now been off-track at every racetrack in southern California and I have been sun-burnt,  wind-burnt, and had torrential rain dumped on me in a convertible; but what does all of this actually mean?

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splashv1

Quenching the thirst for competition…leaves a salty aftertaste

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So I have decided, against my own better judgment and against the advice of friends, financial advisors and loved ones to enter into yet another racing series, the S2000 Challenge. This was really more of a way to twist my own arm to get my lazy ass up to the track at LEAST once a month, wreck some tires and try to improve upon the a-rhythmic gyrations and accompanied swearing that I loosely refer to as driving.

I figure the best way to do this was to do it just like the way I learned how to swim. Stay up late the night before drinking, then show up completely unprepared and jump into the deep end. Man 7 was a weird age for me….but back to the car thing….So I took my car to the 2nd track event I had ever driven it at, and promptly entered it into event number 1 for the 2012 S2000 challenge, in the stock class.

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V_I_Drink_Your_Milkshake.resized

My first days with the V

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So I picked up the V-Wagon thursday night and promptly sat in traffic with it, not really giving me much time to sample all of the various experiences it has to offer, however following that, this weekend we took it on a short road trip to San Diego (or the Whales Vagina) to have dinner with a friend down there. This is just a rough account of the various thoughts that crossed my mind on this journey.

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Money for Nothing!??

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So lately I have been interspersing weekends spent at the shop with weekends spent at my own garage banging on my project supra. For those of you that know me, you probably doubt its existence. Dont worry many do, its been out of commission for a LONG time….BUT in a flurry of motivation that hasn’t been witnessed since they told Sarah Palin she could be governor if she found Waldo, I have been POURING money and time into my supra to get it back on the road. (more…)

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